Tuesday, November 27, 2007

For my Andrea

I would just like everyone to know that I have somehow managed to convince the most beautiful girl I've ever met to marry me. How does that feel, you might ask? Well, my friends, it is nothing short of keen. I can't seem to totally wrap my head around the idea, which means it must be a really good one.

That's really pretty much it. I could go on and on about how beautiful she is and how I feel like I'm walking when I'm around her, but I would probably just get all gross. I guess I'll just have to write a song about it. :)

Tuesday, November 6, 2007


So there's this great new facebook thing I discovered last week. It's an application called "Attack!" and it has changed my life. Basically, they decided to give people a way to not only waste time with social networking, stalking and the desperate seeking of a mate; you can now also throw away your life by playing Risk online! It's the greatest thing ever.

The game has been perfectly copied with some side benefits added. For example, most people will say that they rarely finish a game because inevitably someone becomes so furious they obliterate the board; thus forever leaving who the victor would have been shrouded in mystery. But that never happens online! It's fantastic, especially for one who generally causes that kind of despair in an opponent. :)

I only really have two complaints (shocking, I know). The first and foremost is, the dice roll system is entirely automated. You can't even click a button, they just get rolled. If I lose a battle, I want to lose because I rolled poorly. I realize this isn't even valid, as a dice roll is entirely random regardless of whether it is done by me or by a machine. But still, it would make me feel better.

My second complaint is the lack of ability to intimidate people. In a game of Risk, your bearing and facial expression are just as important as your actual strategy. Often times you can bluff your way out of a potentially devastating attack with a well-placed smirk or chuckle. To solve this problem, I propose some kind of face thing which your opponents would be able to see. There would be a bunch of buttons you could click on that would change its expression, such as "Grimace", "Smirk", "Grin Triumphantly", and "Ponder". I really think it would add a great element to the game.

There you have it. This was kind of a ramble of a post, but that's fine. I'm probably going to read it more than it's actually read by viewers anyway. I love making myself chuckle.

Friday, November 2, 2007

Apologies and Reparations

So my dear Andrea has alerted me to a distinct lack of posting going on on ye olde blog...e. I wrote only one in the entire month of October.

Due to this obscene lack of involvement and in an attempt to assuage the guilt, grief and suffering experienced by the good people who actually read this, the following statement has been issued by the Assistant Secretary of Trevor-Foreign Relations:

We, the People of Trevor, do hereby and officially apologize to those outsiders who have been damaged, many irreparably so, by the noble dictator's actions, or rather lack thereof. We offer the best and most tender comfort we can in words which could only come from an inspired orator such as he: "There, there. You're very pretty."

I couldn't have said it better myself.